my wonderful life.

Well here it is. I'm 43 now and I can still remember being in high school wondering what my life was going to be like at 30. As it turns out, the life I have now is the life I wanted when I was 30--I'm late but I'm a late bloomer so it's ok, I'm on Mexican Standard Time (MST). If I were to look at my life as a game of chess I could you that I've always known what to do, to paraphrase, how to get the life I wanted when even prior to being 30. But I didn't have the right chess pieces, so to speak. I wouldn't have the wife I have now, I wouldn't have the kids I have now or the quiet and loving lifestyle that I enjoy with my wife.

Now the only thing that I need to tweak is my job or at least how I spend my day. I'm employed by an excellent company and I'm very careful not to complain about it because it is a great company and the benefits are ideal. I work with nice people and I never argue at work, in fact, not many people I work with do, we're all fairly respectful of one another. But I have little to no future here. It's an engineering company and I have no desire--or ever had--to be an engineer. So, what do I want to do? I work in digital publishing, I'm in Information Specialist. I write programs that automate the publishing process and get thousands of technical manuals a year to customers. I verify that these books are as complete as possible and that they meet the company's high quality standards. I suppose that if this were the 19th century, I'd be a book maker which strangely enough feels like what I wanted to do when I was younger--I love books but I don't liket to read--weird, I know.

I want to be a professional philosopher but I haven't a clue how to get paid for that or even how to do it. The other profession that I know how to do is in 3 dimensional graphics and animation. Something that ocassionaly creeps back into my life because of my belief system. I believe that 3d graphics is as close to god's work as we can get. Using 3d graphics allows you to simulate life and fool people into thinking that something exists a certain way. The reality is that the image they're looking at is but a collection of numbers organized by an algorithm to form a particular image and get a certain reaction. To me, that mimics life only the algorithm that is used by God is a tad more complex--I think, it may not be--I don't know.